prettymixingbowl
October 2011
kissing him is more than amazing. to feel needed, wanted, and to want and need; it’s so satisfying. it almost makes me sad because i feel the hunger, his and mine. it’s savage yet beautifully tender and giving. he makes all of my dreams come true. i don’t want this to end.
hello, love. i don't know you, but i want you to know i care. i'm sorry you're hurting...i'm currently going through similar things. if you ever want to talk about it, i'm here. i hope you found something to smile about today:).
likewise, friend :)
and it’s one of those emotional, unseen adventures that when you reach the other side of it you look back with a more sweet-than-bitter appreciation of where you’ve come from; I’m looking forward to that time.
September 2011
“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.”
—
Oriah Mountain Dreamer
oh, goosebumps
(via sweepyeyes)
it’s a chilly first day of fall and while cleaning the house i thought it would be nice to open the doors and windows. but living right behind 94 is kind of like living next to the ocean. only less soothing and more obnoxious.
well, time to make some homemade chicken noodle soup for the boys tonight before football!
i am so angry. hurt. and i know that i am not loving myself, my friends and family, or my god. this darkness is consuming me again. why did they give up on me so easily?
so last night was bad.
everything, every one of them, from the beginning came back to me and like ghosts haunted me. i’m sorry to everyone who had to put up with my crazy side.
i am just so lonely.
even the friends who i loved are so far away. silent.
i pushed them away. i don’t know them anymore. don’t recognize them. and while they go on with their lives, and i go on with mine… i miss them.
but i have to just keep going. it’s better to wallow alone, than to subject everyone else to the chaos and hell that i am: janell.
“In every man’s heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.”
—Christopher Morley